Car fucking is for special occasions like birthdays and bank holidays. Don't want to lose the magic by making it an everyday thing.
blowing a .13 at 10 AM isn't nearly as cool as I thought it would be.
I mean we havent seen each other since december and then bam its cinco de mayo and were having sex under a life guard tower taking tequila shots between each position. no big deal
please dont pick me up from the airport dressed like a terrorist.
they're mlb prospects.. of course i'm gonna bang one of them.
My kindergarten teacher served me... All coming full circle
I'm gonna let my dick speak for itself from now on. Seriously, it's always recruiting for me even after 6 hours of drinking.
Passed out mid cig in bed last night. Thank you cough for allowing me legal prescription hydrocodone.
But think about it. I could put her gold medal around my penis
HOW DID ALL OF US MISS THE OBVIOUS: I'LL SHAKE YOUR SPEARE
Just spent the morning washing Bailey's and Guiness out of my clothes -_-
Is the Glover Park Chipotle past the strip club?
Why is that your only point of reference?
Just answer the question
If I die on my walk home, please come claim the body. There is $30 in my left shoe for you....for pizza
I started keeping track of my period when I realized you had a better grasp of it than me.
How do you feel about a threesome?
Will you be there?
I'm the one asking!
Randomize
