im doing shots everytime lil jon says it in the song shots....blackout town here i come
i went to a real vip club. the bathroom attendant was wiping down counters after girls wearing gucci did lines of coke on them. where did MY life go wrong
I'm listening to bach and watching porn,is that a sign of depression?
Quite the contrary. Sophistication.
I can always tell its time to do laundry when my vibrator doesn't stay covered up in my sock drawer.
I didn't realize I was holding it, until I was like, "whose baby is this?"
Dude your not gonna get by security covered in blood wearing only a robe
Don't worry I'm drunk they won't say anything
Sent him a picture of my pregnant boobs from last year, think he'll notice the difference?
Very excited! Vodka will be shot, dicks will be ridden, and memories made.
He tried to tell me that he could handle his liquor better than "all the bitches in this town." AS HE THREW UP. ALL. OVER.
So I've been in more fights on one leg than I've had on two.
I stole a tiki torch last night and just returned it. Things have been better.
I mean my dick does have feeling again, which is a step in the right direction
Halfway through missionary I realized I was partially laying on his sleeping dog and idk that just kinda ruined it for me sooo
What doesn't this kid understand that our relationship is not going past the blacked out blowjob I gave him on his birthday?
You just thought it would be a good idea to show your penis to your best friend. No harm, no foul.
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