Locked eyes w/ her at mainstreet, and said 'yeah yeah get it!' From there we started violently making out on the dancefloor (I had a FULL boner, ps) and then I got her number
Ha. No worries! So loud here &god I love drag queens! How does it happen, the congealing?
i wonder what barack obama's brickbreaker high score is...
the fair has chocolate covered bacon...impossible is nothing.
currently walking past a fire hyrdrant with a hose already attatched.. this could be dangerous..
I'm just trying to jam my tits into some coconuts and I'll be on my way
If you would give me the chance we might have the two separate pieces of the greatest fuck puzzle ever.
There was a dismembered bleeding penis in my dream last night. That's some serious Freudian shit.
I think I'm still drunk and I think you were in my dream (sadly, it was not a sexual bill murray one).
Do I have to formally apologize to Brett for flashing him?
She introduced me as that girl Nathan was fingering
And to add, there was a fat guy right next to me who, when the girls would shake their butts, he would let out a shrill xena warrior princess cheer
I smell like a skunk, but I'm okay with that.
The guy I hooked up with last night left me alone with his dog AND IT JUST SHIT ON THE FLOOR. WHAT DO I DO
There's a pregnant girl taking shots of apple juice
Randomize
