I was able to overlook the Affliction tee until he took it off and there was another tattooed on his body.
Was it at least attractive minus the Gargoyles or skulls... or whatever affliction is putting out these days?
Even a greek god couldn't pull it off. Told him I like Ed Hardy Better. Death Before Dishonor, baby. I'm sure it was a painful blow. hopefully he understands sarcasm.
I woke up this morning with "guy in polar bear j.crew boxers" written on my stomach along with a 5 digit phone number...
I'm not high anymore, I decide when it's done.
i like that you affectionately refer to him as "creepy" ever time you talk about him
Just walked by a group of guys calling out walks of shame with a mega phone from their front porch.
The only reason anyone found out he threw up is because everyone heard it sizzle the bonfire out.
In your drunken brilliance did you make bagel with what appears to be mac and cheese smeared on top and pink icing dip? Because if so it is sitting on the counter
i feel like this needs to be a 'lose some teeth' kind of weekend.
She swung at the pinata with crutches
Hey is there a picture of me in a trash can on your phone?
Your niece just basically announced she's a whore on FB so you should feel pretty good about officiating that wedding next month.
I just shaved my pubes into a heart shape. if that doesn't scream romantic idk what does
Well, that's not my fault. I make decisions all the time when I'm drunk.
sorry for running off in the middle of that heart to heart. free food.
I better get weekly incoherent text messages or I will assume something is wrong.
Randomize
