omg! a creepy truck driver just made a frog puppet wave at me!!!
are you looking for your table cloth? Cause I found it around my neck this morning...
I wish they made helmets for livers.
i cant wait for all this BS that is happening with Tiger to happen to Tebow
so i wake up and the chick who i had sex last night left her phone number. next to the number was a broken condom. should i call?
so we have officially lost him as of 7 hours ago.. already called campus security, the drunk tank and the hospital. figure he'll turn up eventually..
i'll start checking the bushes on campus.
This creepy guy was following me and i hid in the bushes. i could say i was high as an excuse but honestly it was straight up fun.
I just found scrambled eggs in my shower. Thanks for that, asshole.
Craig, a bottle of Jamison, and I had a party on the roof last night. No idea how I got down. My injuries indicate fall...
I pulled out moves I did not even know I possessed, our fucking de-throned gods
Is it too early to start pregaming for St. Patty's?
actually there are like 49038098 people in the bathroom for no reason. Singing My Heart Will Go On and pseudo fighting.
What are best friends for?
Picking your clothes up from a one night stand you had nearly 2 months ago
Lesbians just stole my cat :(
I’m making a jello mold of my penis
Will it be as disappointing as your actual penis?
Randomize
