More tranny stories later!
Dude i fell asleep inside of her
thats awesome
I have funfetti in my underwear...will you come get me?
I feel like I bought a front row ticket to watch her screw up her life
In all seriousness...vodka, almond milk and chocolate syrup make a decent white russian.
He said I was the "egg mcmuffin" of blowjobs. I'm flattered.
got blackout drunk at the conference and wandered around Minneapolis with a homeless person until one of the other interns found me...I think I'm ready for adulthood.
His idea of role playing was him wearing the halloween mitt romney mask while I gave him head
You yelled "I gave my neighbor some of my bitch sauce" and then passed out. You now have drinking limits with us.
You straight up wore me out. This should be a proud moment for you. It's almost like my penis is asking for a timeout. But not really
His water bottle is sitting on my coffee table like a monolith dedicated to the things he is not doing to my vagina.
I Pavlov-trained him by smacking him in the nuts anytime I caught him looking at another girl in public. To this day, he's afraid to break eye contact with me in a restaurant if a tall busty blonde walks in.
grandma made pot brownies .. oh god bless us everyone
She woke up with her hand super glued to the fridge....how the hell am I Supposed to get her off??
Nothing is more confusing than dreaming about being chased by jets, then waking up with an erection.
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