Youre a pretentious asshole and im not sure who you think you are. Get the hell over yourself and the self righteous culture snob image because its pretty obnoxious.
Do you think if Santa was real that he's have a big penis?
The only thing i was looking forward to on 4th of july was the google logo and they let me down. That and beer, lots and lots of beer
This is the last weekend of getting drunk and having sex all nite with the plumber. I'm exhausted all weekend and I'm never going to finish the remodel at this rate
Of course... Double fistin nati light cuz the powers out and it cuts down the times i gotta open the fridge... Genius
I just had nipple jewelry returned to me in the law library.
Dude. If I met a dinosaur right now. we'd totally be on the same page. Brainwaves and shit.
We had a threesome and he gave us bottle rockets and a lamp for our apartment
I was a little curious what "unspeakable" things he could possibly do to my feet
I may or may not have definitely said the words "how do I put this beer in my purse without looking like an alcoholic" last night.
I booty texted him nothing but three exclamation points at 3:05am and he was in my bed 17 minutes later, lest you think punctuation is not important.
HE IS. YOU SHOULD TOUCH HIS BACK.
IT IS A COURTSHIP RITUAL.
THE MUTUAL BUTT TOUCH IS SACRED.
Topless, eating sour gummies, doing a crossword, at 4 AM. TELL ME IM BEAUTIFUL!
I need more 20 something year old penis in my life
It's 1:37. You have 23 minutes to get your dick to the bar before I go home with the bartender... tick... tick...
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