All I'm saying, is that being compared to a Muppet is not the end of the world.
Martha Stewart would most definitely roll a great joint.
dude. FULL moustache. it was like getting head from Tom Selleck
Just waterfalled in the movie theatre... this is the beginning to a good night
It was odd. His friends dick tasted the same as his. Friends are beginning to have to much in common
just found gum connecting my sunglasses to my floor board. you don't want to know where else it was.
the lady next to me just sniffed my hair, smiled, and then fell asleep. I almost started crying from that kind of creepiness
don't cry, we can learn from her
My girlfriend is studying for the MCAT by watching The Magic Schoolbus. There go my dreams of being a househusband.
You sternly pointed at him and declared that you would ride his cock until the early dawn.
Then, you ate a turkey sub, went into his room
I thought my ass was sore from the gym then I realized it was from being spanked. Confusing time in my life.
Just kidding. Don't worry, you're getting sugar and orgasms for Valentine's day.
I have an important idea to tell you when I'm sober about a cat scratching my nose once and what it taught me. DONT LET ME FORGET.
Your phone just changed "liver" to "liquor" how dose that make you feel
I would've fucked Winston Churchill - rode that D like I was going into battle.
At least your wife cheated on you. Women will feel bad for you. In a month there will boy bands that are jealous of your dick
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