I don't know. The next thing I remember we were in the walmart parking lot making out.
I dont have enough money in my bank account to buy a pregnancy test. this wouldnt be the first time ive had to steal one either...
just tell her a well fed dog doesnt stray far from the porch, and if that doesnt work just keep fucking her sisters
Well when you're drinking tequila mixed with water out of a steve Austin cup I really don't think acquiring a straw is your main priority
First off, get on bc solely in preperation for this event. Second, as my little sister you have a lot of whore to live up to.
What do you need? A swimsuit and a liver of steel? What else?
Waking up with a sore back because you put the team on it for jager pong all night
My arms are still sore. Apparently, lube wrestling is the best workout ever.
I'll pick you up. Avoid slightly awkward no-we're-not-dating-but-I'm-still-screwing-your-son-after-2-years parental run-ins.
Also, I saved your name as Everclear last night. No idea why I did that.
I'm abstinent now
Oh, is this one of the times when you're serious?
Well I've consulted some psychics but they keep saying all they hear in my head is screaming and all they see in my future is pool noodles and cheese dip?
You ate my ass why wouldn't I remember you
Dad hid the hash somewhere in my room and wont tell me where it is until i clean it. My room is spotless. The hash was on the ceiling fan...
Look, if it comes down to it, I’m spraying whipped cream on your nuts
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