If you don't sleep with him after showing him your thong with the bow, I am no longer on your side.
Why did you video tape me drying my boxers in the microwave?
I've had a Margarita with salt, but I have to say I was impressed by the Stoli and Sprite rimmed with adderall
We're starting "No Hesitation Fridays." The probability of this going horribly are between 100 to 125 percent
dude, i have to cancel tonight, my neighbor just bought a goat
I owe her a pancake or a second hand orgasm
and then he publicly announced her herpes on facebook.
Just threw up in the waiting room. I can't believe I have to switch dermatologists again.
Curse you and your alcoholic milkshakes.
You're welcome.
I'll be visiting the rave tower. Prepare your finest boxed wines for my consumption.
True freedom is running around a sex club in former power plant in Berlin wearing a boots, a jock
Booty calls should never involve the cops.
Do you remember biting my ear and whispering quotes of Pride and Prejudice last night?
Dude I was walking down the street and threw up in a plastic cvs bag. Tequila wins again.
I should have known when she mixed malibu and V8. It smelled just like tanning oil and when she drank it she said "Oh well, not the first time."
Randomize
