I found somebody to have a 3 sum with
shutup! Who?!?
Hahaha April fools!
Yea, forget your mom. She will be home after her one night stand.
Are you seriously drinking already? It's 11AM. Still morning.
I'm going by McDonald's time. And since they stop serving breakfast at 10:30 and start serving lunch, it is now afternoon.
ah, there's nothing like waking up to picture messages of a strange man's cock. life is good.
haha, that's fucked up. flacid cock pictures are the mental breakfast of champions.
He's like the houdini of condoms. I never even realized he put one on before we fucked. he's magical.
I feel like a squirrel prepping for the winter on dollar beer nights.
Dont forget about the tuna sandwich behind your TV
Power hour was a bad idea. It turned into power 4 hours, then power puke. Then power sleep till 3.
I found him in bed on a pullout couch with another dude. He had two empty puke buckets and his empty bottle of jagermeister right by his head.
I thought he was being really sweet and protective when he pulled me away from the guy i was hooking up with, but turns out he just wanted me to get chicken nuggets with him...
Let's never forget the time I met you while you were running down the street naked and in handcuffs.
I don't even think NICOLE made a fool of herself last night...
your aware she lit herself on fire, right?
I think I'm gunna glue a sign to my head that says "WAKE ME UP BEFORE 7!" And go to sleep and hope a kind passer by wakes me up for my exam .
It was pretty awesome. I drank out of a stein and attempted to dance to dubstep with some older guys in leiderhosen.
i dont know how or why im in the gym right now, but theres a hot cop, a guy i hook up with, and his hot friend. this can only lead to every fantasy i ever had.
Randomize
