I had a disgustingly explicit dream last night involving myself and lil wayne.
so...dinner was kid's cuisine and a bottle of wine. i think they go well together.
I hate the hobo that sits outside our building
Joe or Chris?
do i even wanna kno y u kno their names?
well i came home drunk one night and Chris offered me a beer as i was coming in, it was kinda weird but i wasn't goin to deny a free beer. you're proolly talkin about Joe though, he's the one with the fucked up eye.
The only comparison I have for the iPhone is that it's like youre constantly getting a blow job
My dream of liquor pitchers came true
Trevor is horny so he just called me to tell me all the things that he would like to do with his future wife. That's a new one.
Id fuck him but only at his house and he had to stay im bed till i left. He only works upper body. It just creeps me out how tiny his legs are
Im like a saiyan, last weekends hangover will only make me stronger
I'd marry him just to keep his penis in the country
I was jerking him off and in two seconds he went from "oh yeah that feels good" to "what day is Thanksgiving again?" and then back again. Like wtf.
Listen here, Ms. "I'm Gonna Get Super Drunk and Run From My Friends Screaming That They Were Going to Drag Her to a Scientology Recruitment Camp"...
So our night ended with 6 cruisers, a fire truck, and an ambulance. Also, lots of blood. How was yours?
he’s basically the devil with a fuck boy hair cut and chlamydia
Wanna buy a dildo with me during your lunch break tomorrow?
she is currently in the shower drinking a beer and dancing to a song called "the penis song" my roommate is cooler than yours
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