just once i'd like the "right thing" and the "topless thing" to be the SAME THING
In a min. With a stripper at the hospital. Business. Not pleasure.
Biggest penis I've ever pity fucked
the last thing i remember was the norwegian kid tacking a bag of wine to the ceiling, then boom! shower drain.
I just used a beer funnel to put gas in my car
I think the best part was the fact that the stripper's lock screen was a picture of the virgin mary
i think we watched the dark knight rises after you left but i might have passed out through most of it. I remember crying at the end though. sad tears then happy tears.
Did you feel uncomfortable?
For a little while. Then I got really high and ate a bunch of animal crackers out of some dudes pocket while we chilled on their super comfortable couch.
Hypothetically speaking how does one remove a lamp that they hypothetically superglued to the ceiling?
Acetone nail polish remover, and you lied about studying last night didn't you?
Oh definitely.
I think I had sex with a seagull last night. The window is open and there a feathers everywhere.
just had sex in the back of my high school auditorium #dreamcumtrue
how soon in a friendship can you start calling them a motherfucker
I get so sad when I watch him slowly destroy his life with whiskey and cocaine. Then he bites my neck and I just want to fuck him. I can't help it.
I just wanna fuck your brother. Sorry if thats a crime.
My last one night stand called me today. Apparently I gave him a yeast infection in his mouth. Not sure how I should feel about this.
Randomize
