Hey dude. Went to the hospital. Call me when you get up
That girl really should ne nicer to her vagina. It's not a playground.
Apparently hers is a theme park.
I just don't have the heart to tell my mom you peed in our washer machine last night.
Well now that I've given all the athletes mono there goes our chance of winning any conference championship
Ok that kid was ether gay or 12 with a beard.
He is making me drink his THC water out of a milk jug.
My adult sexuality and some of the best memories of my childhood collided like a Pee Wee Herman wet dream.
Elaborate
Strip Mario-Kart
That's the first time I've ever heard something that tickled both my gag reflex and my penis simultaneously.
The last text I sent him was about nachos. Frankly, if he can't respond positively to that he can fuck off...
Def just threw up beer then brushed my teeth with some randos toothpaste now back to drinkin beer
he told me "apparently my gag reflex doesn't work so if you magically grew a penis I would deep throat you"
Why is there puke in my guitar?
Because you puked in your guitar.
She still didn't believe that he would cheat on her so I finally said "how else would I know that his batman mask is still in the back of his car from halloween?" I think she accepted it
She kissed me, then said "mmm your face tastes like it needs my pussy on it."
I don't think I've ever had this many people offer me blow before. 3 o'clock on a Thursday. I keep good company.
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