Well you know what I always say about freshmen.... If you want it, and they've got it... get it.
I'm drinking early times at a fridays on wednesday night. This entire bar is going to see my dick by last call.
I havent jerked off in so long, my dick literally prevented me from rolling over in my sleep this morning. new definition of painful?
ya i found him eventually. hes the only one who drinks guiness so I just had to follow the darkest green puke trail
first off, his name is dougie. strike one.
There are bruises on the top of my foot. The pole won.
Swear to god, if I have to wingman for you on my honeymoon I'm gonna be pissed
When did I go from having sugar daddies to being one? And does it count as a tax write off?
His flight is delayed. Mother Nature is delaying me from sex.
she said she just "wanted a guy who she could cook breakfast for". HUGE MISTAKE. I'm never leaving
Like, I want sex but I also would be okay with Netflix
you got into a really intense arguement about protecting bees. it was wierdly arousing.
I left at 4:30 in the morning and I told him it was because I had to take my contacts out
He called me kiddo. We can't have sex
It's okay to admit that you're into redheads.
Randomize
