Pregnant stripper...not hot.
ii just google-imaged 'sad turtle' and maggie gyllenhaal only came up once. what is the world coming to?
Hey sis... Don't forget moms day is this sun. And don't get her another gift while you are freakin high this time. The vibrator was embarrassing.
FYI the vibrator was a SUCCESS. She was in a much better mood this last year. Maybe you should get high this time and get a great gift
come over i need a lifeguard for my shower
We'll both be dead in approximately 72-96 hours, with you bringing your liver out of retirement again, Favre.
i'm sorry, but my penis isnt the solution to your problems
I'm allowed to be upset. I've never had that many fingers in my ass
all i could think about while he was eating me out was how pretty his eyelashes were
The Supreme Court upheld health insurance. If that's not an excuse to get hospital drunk, I don't know what is.
They should make a traveling bouncer service to remove unwanted people from your house without getting the cops involved. That sums up my Friday.
I was more obsessed with the sweat stain on her back that was simultaneously shaped like a vagina and the virgin Mary.
She had a tattoo on her pelvis that said "it's cock-o-clock" an had clocks and hot dogs exploding away from it. I'd like to tell you it was deal breaker buuuuuuut.......
I have experienced an excessively hairy ballsack in my mouth...and it was horrifying. I keep feeling it in my mouth now. It's like hairy ball PTSD.
Dude this weed has me so paranoid.
Yeah tell me about it I just screamed after I coughed because my own cough scared me.
They want a bedroom just for their cats. And you thought we were gay.
Randomize