i just cleaned out my toilet because i knew that my head would be in it later
Woke up in a different state, wearing only a bk crown. My boxers are in a tree and I think I went to the hospital last night.....
I told you not to do acid with the girl who works the late shift at 7-11
Joey just asked me if I ever got anything stuck in my vag.
was it embarrassing when you had to say yes?
God I love babysitting. They pay me $10 an hour to watch movies and sext
260 beers this month. I need a new hobby.
He kept screaming "it's so seductive" while he was humping the wall
Well they kicked us out after we started heckling the acrobats
Just doin' what I do best: sitting in a stall in the class building's bathroom, pondering life and exploring deep, dark corners of the internet before class.
I try not to have friends with attractive fathers, it only brings my morals down.
Just broke into a house and crawled through a window. Upside: getting laid.
If you can't have hot, loud sex in a dorm for the last time ever, what can you do in this world?
I dont understand why so many people are content staying in and avoiding alcohol and sex
He is married, and has a regrettably large penis. I need to find another one right away to get myself out of this mess.
How big does a penis have to be before it becomes regrettably so?
got laid for being an eagle scout again. 4 more and ill have all my merit badges.
I can't be held responsible for what I do for you after a blowjob like that.
Randomize