Hard rock hotel, wtf why am i still out, im gonna fuk 5 chix 2nite .maybe
awww and there was just a proposal on stage with the pussycat dolls !!!!!
Did someone propose they get off the stage?
Why dose there have to be another girl there for you to do this?
its hotter. Way hotter.
you got so mad from losing a game of beerpong that you went into another room by yourself and practiced for an hour and a half.
her name was charlotte except you kept calling her chatroulette and yelling at her to show you her boobs
your philanthropy is ruining my sex life.
If I can't get slightly excited by the thought of his face between my legs then I know I can never sleep with him.
Looking through last night's sexting, realized one is a haiku..
Yeah I ended up covered in the mud by the end, in a lady bug golf cart that was blasting jazz music with a dead phone
I forgot my backup drink is supposed to be pedialyte and vodka. Add in the shit I'm losing as I drink. Win-Win right?
I just have to point out that once I typed "fa" my phone filled in "fatass"
Apparently today is power bottom appreciation day
Whoever jacked off in MY pong room on the bean bag with your fucking googles pick up your fucking cum towel you gross disgusting fucks. I said NO MORE jacking off in that room. I swear I will empty it out if this is going to continue.
My fuck buddy just proposed... Correct me if I'm wrong, but doesn't that completely defeat the purpose of FRIENDS with benefits?
Now you can be friends with Insurance Benefits.
I would just like to say that I was the one who said that we should find scissors, when they were cutting your hair with a kitchen knife. I am responsible.
I still feel bad for it, even though I technically only videotaped it and helped will to distract the questioning neighbor
Randomize
