It's not real sex if he's just convulsing inside of you.
spencer pratt says his family invinted chess
that kid is like the al gore of hollywood.
i had a dream that your penis turned into a long neck dinosaur
did it start talking like on Land before time?
dude your girlfriend is running naked down the hall with a raw chicken taped to her stomach saying this is what I'll look like pregnant...run far far away
All I remember is you introducing yourself to the entire basketball team using the line "I'll show you a slam dunk."
we played dirty jenga the drinking edition... some girl really just broke a rib? how do we even go this hard
found out that hot proper business chick in my class A) did a bar crawl last 2 night and still showed up to class and B) is 19 and C) so not as proper as I thought D) is single. How the fuck does that work? Freaking superwoman.
I remember key bumps, porn and a mom in my bed. Sums up my day.
that is an amazing summary hahaha
Dude I thought she was trying to turn my dick inside out
Judging by the progress I've made since I woke up (none) I'm thinking this hangover may keep me in bed.
I've started brushing my teeth at 6pm, because honestly alcohol is the only thing I consume after that
Wow! It's so great to hear from you! We all thought you perished in Winepocalypse 2012, man.
Just woke up from an extremely erotic dream featuring Steve Buscemi. Now I can't sleep.
In the event that Ian's ex wife asks you, tell her I'm sweet snd innocent. No reason.
isnt it crazy how for years we were living our owns lives, and now only a wall seperates us?
stop. eating. my. shrooms.
Randomize
