She was ugly to the point i wanted to brush my teeth after looking at her
Im making the walk of shame with half a box of pizza, its like when youre little and you get a goodie bag leaving the party
Every time I type "should" my phone autocorrects to "shouldn't". even my phone knows my ideas are terrible.
i just entered cocaine into my calorie counter.
The biggest loser is alot easier to jack off to at the end of the season
Announcement: Given the sad circumstances regarding the death of my dearest friend Chong the Bong, there will be a brief memorial service for him tomorrow evening at 10:30 at my place. After sharing some memories and sending his spirit off to the great bowl in the sky, we will all take place in the commemoration and maiden voyage of his son, Chong Squared, who eagerly waits to meet all of you. High blessings to you all, piece be with you.
If he can forgive your lousy blowjobs, you can ignore his terrible driving.
I just threw up in my front yard because my roommate was in the bathroom. Fuck New Years Day.
Do you think if i wear this shirt with my bengals boxers this kid will fall out of love with me a little bit because that's what I was going for.
Who knew wearing a toga outside would provide for and infinite amount of dick to choose fron
You dove at him but passed out mid dive. Shame it wasnt a costume party your superman suit wouldve been clutch in the situation
Matched with the lumberjack. Here's your wedding invite.
Can I just buy you sex toys as a wedding gift? Bc I’m here for that and you
Thanks for being my best friend so I can use you as an alibi to my family while I'm out getting some dick in my face.
I kept screaming at his rabbit: "IT'S OKAY, YOU CAN HAVE SOME TRIX. FUCK THOSE SELFISH BITCHES."
Randomize