Why is there a shirtless guy in Walgreens and why is he probably looking for the same thing I am?
I did the walk of shame to church this morning.
hooker boots and all?
Yep. People looked at me like I was the prodigal daughter returning home. Full of sins but welcome anyway.
I'm not gonna lie. having my legs shaved for me in the morning was a lovely surprise.
we're almost there. Shes pounding on the car window telling the nurse whos on a smoke break to fuck off.
not the best booty call
did she squirt?
only if tears count
I'm sorry. But when a stripper driving a Bentley tells me I have potential..... I gotta at least listen to her proposal. God did not mean for me to waste these tits on law school.
There are six slides. In going to pee in five of them. You have to guess which one to go down. Agree?
Agreed.
I just got three pairs of underwear free and a bathing suit for $20 by modeling them and letting the salesman grope me a bit.
It's great being a young gay man in Chicago!
Best line overheard at the bar: "This is the last time I'm shaving my ass for him...I mean we just broke up".
I'm on the porch day drinking and the neighbor is in his yard screaming about his amazing sandwiches, maybe we should move.
I don't think I have face palmed that many times in such a short period. And I've worked tech support.
She was blowing me like a porn star and all I could think was "you just told me your grandfather is dying in hospice right now"
It's brunch. If you find dick at brunch. You an A+ hoe.
I would accept a super bowl ring as an engagement ring
Walked off the dance floor to find Gabe hitting on a dad bod at the bar. It was my Dad. Awkward is an understatement.
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