Dude, I just had an awesome rave/orgy with like bunch of hot Asian chicks on a cable car. It was like being in a Gwen Stefani video, cept w/o the bad spelling
God, I love San Francisco.
Im eating ham and mustard naked, watching south park, but its totally cool cuz the paper plate is covering my nuts
Sorry, I don't speak sober.
in a basement doing blow off a prince dvd next to a chick in a saddam mask
I'm sorry..where i come from learning how to exploit a wealthy middle aged man is a right of passage
i wish i could, but i promised myself i wouldn't sleep with anyone who couldn't grow a beard for a while. it's not you, it's crosby.
Just bought an airhorn. Bad things will happen.
Not only was there cake on the wall but someone shoved cake and meat in a cup and put it in the fridge.
I asked if he wants to help me spring forward at 2am on Sunday. He seems down.
Like hey, "you just spent $135k to go to a nobody law school to drive a mini van, be a dj, live in a smalllll ass apartment that smells like cats and your girlfriend fucks other guys."
We had a pillow fight. It looks like an angel exploded here. A DRUNK ALCOHOLIC ANGEL
We went from zero to drunk tank in 45 minutes.
jen just told me ur idea of revenge was saluting while letting his bong float away while attached to some balloons.
I just remembered you throwing bread at me and getting me to drink water out of a heineken bottle. You are my best friend.
also. when i get a car, the amount of space there is for sex WILL be a huge deciding factor.
Randomize
