oh, and bring over your fire extinguisher. we're gonna get the mailman again
For those pictures, I will suffer this headache.
he found my favorite bra, 3 thongs and a pair of jeans and gave them back. i love move out day.
He walked in AS I was cumming. Now even my father knows I'm a squirter.
Just realized my talking to the tv hockey voice is same as my sex voice. Life just got a whole lot weirder.
they ran out of ice so they are using frozen shrimp in their drinks
Some guy seriously just got Jimmy Johns delivered to him at the graduation ceremony. This cannot be real life.
He's like Medusa, you can't look directly into his eyes or you'll turn into a slut.
Every time you started making out for him we all cheered for you... that's what sorority sisters do - they cheer you on when you make bad life decisions at the bar.
I am convinced that after two dates and a few adult sleepovers that he still doesn't know my name.
If my mom's not going to offer me drugs then it's really pointless for me to be here.
Youre having a picnic
Yeah but all we have is vodka, so it's getting a bit out of hand.
He looks like Aladdin, and that's about all he's got going for him.
I forget, are we banging TA’s for grades this semester or not?
Depends on how cute he is
Have you considered murder?
Other than my credit score and this bowl of oatmeal, not really. It's very messy
Randomize
