Okay just took the preggers test..and im NOT! :)
awesome babe! drinks tonight!
Wait does the happy face mean yes? fuck.
New drinking game: drink every time the guy whose room we are in is creepy
enjoy the hospital
I hope im prettier
yea, just so you know this whole self-loathing thing is getting pretty fucking annoying
She might as well just lie down with one of those red "Easy Buttons" next to her
I didn't think it was possible for the human body to be physically dependant on weed until I moved in with this kid
I'm pretty sure I'm almost gay. Like, I'd do it if I had no choice. Like, if i were in prison I'd try it.
About six hours after the bottle of smirnoff, I was googling "losing your stomach lining" and calling my mom for help. She has experience.
I'm not trying to alarm you guys, but I think I just swallowed a ketchup packet.
so hungover ... i gave my nephew five bucks to go blow bubbles for an hour in the kitchen.
The same guy who pierced my nipples just told me he can help tutor me in precalc.
Look if 10 am was too early to go barrel tasting the winery would not be open.
We didn't have sex because he locked himself in the bathroom and passed out while he was taking a shit. I cuddled with his cat.
He went out to smoke and when he came back I was still in the same spot naked and unable to breathe.
All I could say was, "ladies and gentlemen, THIS is why I drive 30 mins"
Have you ever woken up and said a thank you prayer to the beer gods for allowing you to wake up in the morning and still have the ability to walk and talk? Because we should.
I finally selected an outfit that says "I'm not easy" but still shows off the tittays.
Randomize
