I'm pretty sure the new "vibrating mascara" is just a disguised dildo for those of us who are too ashamed to purchase a real one.
Well, at least their eye lashes will look good while they masturbate shamefully.
Tell me why Im cashing out of Walmart with Smirnoff and catfood
I love how all these freshman girls think that they can wear what they wore last summer... freshman 15 at its skankiest
I could literally track my booty calls if I ever got knocked up by my parking tickets
Let's just say a refrigerator got involved and after that I had to send him home.
The guy you fucked with the lazy eye is here, im avoiding contact by texting you. But i just looked up and he recognizes me, theres no way he doesnt. I'd remember the girl who called me quasimodo all night too. Sober me feels so bad.
I don't even see the point of going over to his place dressed anymore.
I hope you fall on your chin.
Jealousy makes you ugly.
I wish someone would just come knock on my door and fuck me already so that me and my stuffed animals aren't the only ones who see my amazing spring break tan. I'm not getting skin cancer so I can just sit here abstinent.
Now that I'm hitting my bong, I realized I haven't missed something so much in a long time. I love Thomas the Dank Engine.
My Saturday dick is so much more impressive than my Tuesday dick.
My new dealer is 16. I have been getting high longer than he has been alive.
I don't see the problem
How are you feeling?
Hungover as shit. Someone just knocked on my window to make sure I was alive. I have been sleeping in the drivers seat for an hour parked outside my store. That is how okay I am.
I'm dying. The alcohol is viciously exiting my tiny body.
I kind of really want to call off the engagement but I kind of need his mom's mashed potatoes on thanksgiving so I'm between a rock & a hard place here
Even after hearing me fuck his friend twice in one night, he still follows me around like a puppy.
Randomize
