It was like a Michael Bay sized explosion located in my pussy.
i stole $50 bucks from my girlfriends purse to pay for my other girls abortion pill...shes gonna be pissed
the liquor store lady asked about three times if I was sure about buying two fifths of everclear. i told her I wanted to be on cops
she said, and i quote, "i want to black out with my rack out"
You took a fire extinguisher off the wall in the hallway to play Ghostbusters.
I have hooked up with someone in EVERYONE OF MY CLASSES.
That's how you know you deserve to be a senior
If it's any consolation, I've been sitting in the hallway in assless chaps for the past thirty minutes
The mystery gender stripper never showed up with that party burrito last night.
I'm gonna have to get you a special blowjob bib -- like a lobster bib -- but instead of a picture of a little red lobster, it will have a picture of a penis, with 3 big squirts coming out.
My alarm went off and I went straight for your dick. That's dedication.
like are we talking 'quick beer' bad or 'break out the real vodka' bad
I'm sorry if you weren't drunk enough to be peer pressured into the naked dancing/group make out that transpired last night
I'm gonna chug this bud light an might injure this high school penis, like I'm 17 again
Just cried watching Wimbledon, worst comedown ever.
idk he wanted to trade sex for a triple order of hashbrowns
AND YOU SAID NO?????????
Randomize
