Fake titties should be able inflate and deflate like tires. So on Saturday you can put on your Double D hooker titties or Sunday put on your size B church tits.
New universal law, if a movie has a Rob Zombie song in it, its probably a bad movie.
so this guy on craigslist is offering a case of beer to shave his back. i think i'm gonna take him up on it.
Farmville is her only friend.
You can't like Harry Potter and Twilight. You have to pick. Vampires and Wizards are mutually exclusive.
hey boys, thanks for all the pictures of your dick you took with my camera last night...they were really nice to stumble upon while reliving my night in the breakroom today at work
Just when you think you're never going to have sex again, BOOM you're naked in bed with a guatemalan
I am a human short and spout . Here is my jager Herr is my redbull . When i get real drink i shout out. Tip me over and pour yeager out
HOW AM I SUPPOSED TO LOOK FUCKABLE IN AN ALL NEON SPANDEX JUMPSUIT?
Yes, you can 69 in a fiat. But I think I have permanent nerve damage
I hooked up with a 20 year old last night. I feel like a hocus pocus witch that sucked life from a child.
Wanna have a sleepover and take me to court in the morning?
I'm sorry I lead life with my vagina.
Working nightshift means its never too early to start drinking- and you can quote me on that
I got drunk. Then I took a shit.
It was a good shit
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