I have had it with that bitchy sack of crazy. Iam done!
Just fyi NOT a good idea to drunkenly insert your NuvaRing after chopping jalepeno peppers
Using pokemon references during sexual acts is always a good idea.
They call it the Collection Couch because all 4 room mates have slept with at least 3 different girls on it. He tried to seal the deal with "would you like to be number 14?"
And sadly I did.
I'm doing it for my vagina. You should understand that
She looked at my facebook and decided to bump the security deposit up an extra 250...now we have to destroy the house, its expected and I wouldn't want to disappoint
You need to come over. I cant get her to stop eating honey mustard straight from the squeeze bottle
It's gotten to the point that the dirty talk in my head when I touch myself has your accent
Haha...we lost by one cup to a guy w shitty facial hair. What makes me most mad abt the loss is that I could grow a better beard on my vag.
Sitting on the curb by new england comics with a weeping drunk girl who's eating french fries saying she'll never be as successful as her sister the hand model. She's scaring the nerds.
He just kept yelling cup my balls to everyone they kicked us out after 20 min
Oh my god. I'm not ready to be an adult. I'm not ready.
She said pants are for pussies while spooning peanut butter onto her frosted flakes with a serving spoon. She's not even high yet.
Naked. Naked is my favorite color.
The beauty of his penis is distracting me from the fact that he was born after Princess Diana died
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