just got pizza delivered to the hot tub. its easier than i thought to be this lazy
its officail im naming my first born child brickbreaker
Please, do not let 'babydaddy' catch on as your petname for me.
screw that ipod for my birthday.. i just want a weed brownie the size of my face. that's all.
Just saw 30+ dicks. Explain later.
I noticed when you had too much when you were yelling "HOE-HAVE-A-SEAT" to his cat.
And then she banged "the first Italian rapper"
Well the weddings in 4 days so I already got the eightball lined up and the wii fit all warmed up. Still wanna bet I wont lose 20 pounds by the wedding?
How's my date look?
Like a retarded elf
In a good way
Its not chugging if its just one gulp
Just wanted to say a big ole FUCK YOU for coming out to mom the day before I have to drive with her for 6 hours. Ass hat.
Just used my flashlight app to find a gummy lifesaver I dropped on the floor
I like how you're utilizing your resources
My boobs keep hanging out of this shirt. I think thats the style I'm going for tonight
Hey what you doing tonight?
Working at the hospital! So hurt yourself and come visit :)
See you in about a hour
I'm so gassy and it's your fault.
Randomize
