he thought i was passed out so he proceeded to jerk off while i lay on the floor next to him
oh well at that point I was already depressed with life because I had watched the bratz movie.
I guess we had a small kitchen fire somehow when we decided to bake fruitroll ups and croutons...
Pro tip: Don't start playing Bejeweled on Facebook while waiting for your Adderall to kick in. Unless you have the next 9 hours free.
My night ended with Em alternately crying and throwing up in the arms of a guy wearing a cutoff and a tiara. I sat holding a garbage can and wine glass full of water wondering how our night got to this point.
I miss you more than I would miss junk food if I went on a diet. And you've seen me eat, you know how desperate I'd be.
I woke up in a sink... Not like curled up on top of it though. I was standing, bent over, face first. IN THE DAMN SINK.
I just sent him 3 long ass texts about how to tell a girl how he feels. I should get a fucking friend zone medal.
I will make you one.
Good. It needs "forever alone" engraved on it
Hey, you remember years ago when you told me you would give me a kidney?
We made a pact to go to the nursing home together... that way we could stay high till the bitter end. Do you not remember?
Was expecting a sext from Kristi and then my mom randomly sent me a pic of her ugly Xmas sweater. Worst. Buzzkill. Ever.
Saw the guy I once slept with, he was buying Beer and shit tone of diapers. Glad to see how 2016 will turn out.
This whole quitting my bad habits all at once is really messing with my ability to function.
Well he had a nice beard and it smelled good so there was no way I wasn’t going home with him.
The air I exhale reeks of whiskey and bad decisions
Randomize
