The best feeling....farting and having the bubble hit your balls
yah I made NO friends last night. at one point i think i replaced talking with spitting
i wonder what thom yorke's orgasms sound like
You know why I moved here? No public intoxication law. A cop just helped me from my bent over vomit pose, asked if I was ok, and gave me a ride home.
just fucked two guys in less than 12 hours. i miss this part of being single.
and by single i mean slutty
help me choose which girl to send myself boning to my girlfriend to make her want to break up
which one looks the most like her?
yea. Don't mess. He will heal me. But my blowjobs will be historical.
He chipped a tooth on the first beer. You know the night is just going to be a slushy mess after that.
Using a joint as a bookmark. What is my life?
Hey have you ever thought about fishing cause I'd like to go fishing but don't know anyone that fishes and I'm gonna cry because. FISHING
I just fucked her in her boyfriends bathroom... he was in the room sleeping.
cant tell, his cock is acting like one of those inflatable arm waving things outside the market
I asked if I could borrow some condoms. She referred to herself as "a soup kitchen for whores".
THIS IS THE 11TH FUCKING COFFEE TABLE THAT YOU AND RICHARD CRASHED THROUGH.
I'm surprised me and Richard survived 11 of your coffee tables.
YOU TWO ARE BUYING ME A NEW ONE I AM PISSED.
You know when you're a kid and you play at the pool until you passed out? It was like that except instead of playing it was sex.
Randomize
