Random 1st period thought: do you think she could put "had a threesome" on her resume?
After 10 years all I have gotten is one bra pic, at this point I should be able to draw your cervix from memory
I feel like banging her is an expected thing. But banging you would be like getting a 36 on the ACT.
I was unaware that a tutu and pasties was appropriate attire to this
Talking about the game in the closet with a banana wearing sunglasses.
I have not carelessly put myself in herpes way since I got a clean bill of health tyvm.
We're sitting in his room writing songs about America. There's a verse about a dead dog. There's tequila everywhere.
why is there a fishing net hanging from my ceiling fan?
Let's just say after this weekend I'm known as Shameous the Irish bar fighter.
I'm 11 for 13 getting drunker than the person who's birthday it is
I need to stop drinking alone, I wrote a love letter to my tattoos
I'm at the local community college pretending to be a substitute for a computer applications class
I don’t know whether to call out sick or call in drunk
I need to get some goddam control over my hormones
Didn't know my clit could produce that many orgasms in one night. Fuck my husband; think I might have to become a lesbian.
Randomize
