We're like a lot better than the average bears
worst night to have a conscience
do people really wait til 5 oclock to start drinking in real life?
I passed out in the VIP room and she charged me for 17 songs until I woke up, theres a bouncer asking me for $700, fuck tequila
The bouncer said he wanted to but BBQ sauce on my legs. That Mystic tan has already paid for itself.
Always fun waking up to 911 as your last dialed call.
i swear to god. if they dont have practically DTF written on their foreheads, or a glowstick in their hands, strictly no entry.
I know. You don't know poor life choice until your sitting on the floor of a community bathroom waiting to vomit at 4 am
It's a delicate game of how much porn can I look at without the other interns noticing.
Faking my way through an entire party as a British exchange student. Wish me luck.
You don't understand. My ass is the color of eggplant.
McDonald's and a car nap. I feel kinda human
My throat is burning
Thats because you proceeded to drink the salsa because you thought it was alcohol...dumbass
So I FINALLY get to start out a story, "So there I was, naked except for a toboggan hat and handcuffs..."
I have to have boobs, you have the charm and wholesomeness that gets boyfriends... And i have boobs
Randomize
