I just walked by a ginger with a mullet. I repeat GINGER mullet. So help us God.
I just farted so loud that my cat got so scared he fell off the couch.
she looks like someone took a bunch of spare parts and glued them all on one face. it's quite horrifying.
she told me i should dip my dick in chocolate and then let her blow me since it was her 2 favorite things. weird or my new valentine for this year?
I woke up with cheeseburger in my mouth and a deep sense of accomplishment.
would it be mean if I put better with the lights off on my sex playlist just for my hook up with him?
Water skiing blazed is the most scary thing I've ever done.
They're fucking on the bed next to me. I took adderall and smoked so there's no fucking help for me.
dropping lines from Workaholics has slowly become my icebreaker when hitting on girls. who would have thought "lets get weird" would cause girls to actually get weird
I woke up with what appeared to be LSD in my pocket. Know anything about this?
We just took an Eskimo family picture.. It's pretty cute honestly
When a guy invites you to dinner and breakfast the next day it's implied that he's going to make some sweet loving in betwixt correct?
Well that's disappointing. I guess I'll give a lesson on dick-breaking another time then
I mean...he danced with his dick still inside of me. What more could a girl ask for?
some guy had a sword and everyones crying..it turned bad..fast.
Randomize
