Last night I fell down in the street (I think in someone's vomit), cut my knee up, lost my moms necklace and my license, and had to walk back to the hotel.
It's finally official that I am from Oklahoma. I'm currently sleeping with my ex-fling's brother.
KATE. I JUST NOTICED THAT LOWERCASE D'S LOOK LIKE SLIPPERS.
Just got off the phone with poison control. They're more concerned about our alcohol intake than that the beer bong was last cleaned with pine sol.
This is so pathetic it makes me miss snorting lines alone in my room listening to 'one more drink'.
is cock-oriented a word? I'd say I'm that lately.
Remember when we had a keg, and then another 5 cases... and like 30 people drank it all?
Everything hurts.
i sucked his cock and got snuggles in return. I'm the mother Theresa of giving in a relationship.
If I asked you to guess what I'm doing right now how many guesses would it take to get to really high eating an apple bumping techno
You came running into my room at 4 in the morning yelling "SANCTUARY!" and flung yourself into bed.
Hmmm, sounds like a Jaeger night then. Did I at least get to be the little spoon?
How the hell do you misplace a bag of tacos in a closet?
Just because I stayed up all night betting on Australian Horse Racing doesn't mean I have a gambling program.
SHE MASTURBATED TO THE THOUGHT OF ME HAVING AN ALL DUDE THREESOME WITH HER EX BOYFRIENDS.
I couldn't figure out what was more important, finishing the shot or putting out the fire on my leg.
enjoying your night?
do dogs like to salsa?
I dont know if that answers my question or not
Randomize
