Bar closing I am hiding in the bathroom. do you think anyone will find me?
you kept lifting my skirt up, yelling "PANTY PARTY". needless to say, you're at the top of my father's shit list right now.
She begged me for sex again. I felt like I was telling a homeless person I didn't have any change.
Always fun waking up to 911 as your last dialed call.
I'm cooking a can of baked beans on the baseboard heater. It is too early in the semester to be this poor.
The dry cleaners wouldn't even take our clothes. That's how bad of a night it was.
I'd say the best part of the party was when you screamed to everyone that you were gettin dome on the reg
it was a frathouse cornucopia of foul mixed drinks and "sangria", which im convinced was blood and pcp
Our 450 pound cab driver smells like McDonalds and sunblock with a touch of vodka. Correction I smell like vodka.
Could have been worst, could have seen me bent over biting her carpet while her son was inside me, i think i would have respnded with "i was just trying to be quiet"
you 2 were alone in the living room and the dog walked in and you started yelling what are all these people doing in here
Who spent today in nothing but a vajazzle and candy thong? SORRY NOT SORRY
He kept screaming "I am the thunder!" when he was riding me.
As I walked across the lawn after the party got busted, an officer told me to chug my beer before I left the premises.
I cant promise hot guys but i can promise alcohol which is close enough.
Randomize
