My life is like the prequel to "40 Year Old Virgin"
Haha I will however wear glass and and draw a lightning bolt scar if you want to have sex that way, and that can be the only time you can call me Harry.
we found him passed out on the baseball field with two 40oz and wearing a tophat.
Where did he get the tophat?
I just hit on a guy in a doughnut store... is that too suggestive?
Why is my vagina being sacrificed for yours? I'm sure he would take a piece of you too. Your turn.
Just smoked a joint with the hottest patient. God I love night shifts.
I can't remember if I puked before or after the shots of absinthe. Or why I thought shots of absinthe was a good idea.
You can't honestly expect me to maintain an erection when you have the Glen Beck show on
I'll give you a blowjob in a Santa hat if it will put you in the Christmas spirit
Just witnessed a man yell "gonna catch a slut!" at himself in the mirror while doing bicep curls at the gym.
I was...perplexed.
The girls said some drunk guy in footie pajamas was asking for me when they opened the doors. I thought we agreed you were gonna stay home and microwave me some bacon.
I skipped the handshake and went right for a dickshake I had him minutes after I saw him.
Ya can’t just go throwing accusations around about someone pooping their pants without some hard evidence
Can you recommend a quality dick? I haven’t had a good sexing in a while
Bud light made chelada as a breakfast for those of us with class at 8 am
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