those are such fre$h shoes
going to ignore the use of the word "fresh" in a sentence that isnt related to produce and/or other food stuffs and especially the part where you replaced an "s" with a dollar sign
Also thongs make me have to fart a lot.
She just used a chaser for red wine.
In retrospect, getting to second base BEFORE anal wouldve been a good idea
Yeah I hope so. Definately just saw two freshmen in very authentic togas and cotton ball beards. This new class is stepping it up.
Selling drugs in raindeer antlers is the best way to spread christmas cheer
Just because you can put your penis in it does not make it "good stuff".
I like it when Amish boys stare at my boobs, even tho I can't tell if it's in appreciation or disgust. Rumspringa, mothafuckers.
Dunno why I keep hitting snooze. It's never gonna give me the kind of sleep I need to be sober.
Wanna play whack-a-mole in my pants?
Your word choices worry me.
What I've learned from glowsticks: glowing things are not safe to eat
I almost tased myself
I dont think you should own that device.
It's an awesome device. I love this device.
This is like 50 shades on steroids but with healthy relationship models and mutual respect among all parties involved and lesbian activity.
We're like a married couple, but we only have sex on college holidays and other people's birthdays.
But once you are just right and I work my tongue in the right spots and hot wax your balls and inner thighs. I will have you right where I want you.
Who is this?
Oops wrong number
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