hey..i found a takeout box with a half-eaten hamburger in it, the box said to text this number if found...
I just found out that the liquid capacity of my breasts is 700ml each. I should not be left alone at home when drunk.
she kept calling me pablo. i just went with it.
If you're trying to subtly tell me that I look like Connie Chung, just stop it. I already know.
he said that weed should be legal but that particular bong shouldn't be. i stared at a clock for an hour and a half after i ripped. so logically, i completely agree.
I don't think he grasps the fact that I would much rather he finish inside me than on my $400 Anthropolgie bedspread
I think the guy in front of me just puked in a styrofoam cup.
its safe to say i can delete the contact in my phone "brandon random bus make out" from spring break right?
I can't even go pee because I'm making sure he doesn't run off somewhere naked.
It hits you later. Like when you wake up on the floor under a puzzle later.
I don't remember what you were saying to me in the bathroom. But whatever it was, yes, because i remember nodding a lot.
I want to put in my resignation as an adult. From now on I will be spending my time drinking beer and skiing.
Is selling savings bonds for acid money something a normal person does?
I think there's an ice cream truck out back, but there's no way I can get pants on in time to catch it
You're 21st was epic. I woke up at 6 a.m. on the floating beer pong table in the pool with a beer still in hand. Didn't even spill any
Randomize
