She's like a pop up book from hell.
his mom called while we were having sex and asked if we could finish in his brothers room because her ceiling fan was about to fall on her bed
So he didn't pull out. And I like flipped out. And the he told me to chill and opened up a drawer full of packs of Plan B and handed me one.......
If i spent $300 & took that thing home i would hate myself today.
all i wanted was to be slutty. now i'm meeting him for drinks tomorrow because he woke up before i had a chance to sneak out and was too polite to say no
please hold off on going into labor, i might need you to take me to the free clinic
I get off at the next exit which doesn't have a shoulder, a guy is riding my ass so I cant stop. I think I got as much puke on his car as on mine.
I refuse to have sex with you and your eBay condoms.
Anyhow, I am sorry for being obnoxious about wanting more sex and forcing you to eat lunchmeat off of my ginormous nipples. I knew that you weren't going to succumb to my pushy demands
I just puked in my courtyard and dripped toothpaste in my chest hair. You better be getting laid or this drunk is wasted.
Pretty sure at some point last night i said to myself "it'll be fun to completely lose my mind for a night"
I just walked out of the side door of the bar to come in the front door so no one would know I've been here drinking before our work meeting.
There is a dude riding on one of those standing wheel things inside forever 21. Calm down.
Ick. That's not even the fun kind of punishment.
By talk things out did he mean have passionate angry sex?
Randomize
