Incredible sex, Maddow, more sex, spoon, sex again
drinking colt 45 because lando calrissian told me to
i blame lastnights decisions on friday the 13th
After skinny dipping in your pond, I think me and tequila have added a whole new dynamic to our relationship.
she both took care of me and took advantage of me. it was BEAUTIFUL.
I lost track of him after he threw the handful of pennies at the 2 female cops and ran into the darkness. I heard a tazer and a scream. All that is left is his flip flop. Its like hes drunken man-derella.
He was trying to hotbox the banana suit. Of course we traded him for vodka.
I keep jumping up and down in front of the mirror naked. The only motivation I would be to stop and put clothes on is if you come over. Hurry.
How's dinner? Come here? You can bring your boyfriend if you're ok leaving without him
LOOK AT MY ASS AND LEGS IN THIS SKIRT. I KNOW ALL THE BEST HIDING SPOTS IN THIS BUILDING. AND I OFFER TEQUILA.
You used your chihuahua as a pillow screaming "HE'S A PILLOW AND A PET" and proceeded to puke in the dog bed
Apparently calling shotgun while getting put into a police car is frowned upon
How's everyone else's ass tattoo today?
Did you get your nipples pierced? I felt something poking through my shirt earlier and I really didn't want to say anything in front of your grandma...
Dude, you screamed I AM THE WALRUS while giving a statue of Ronald McCdonald a lapdance. You were NOT sober.
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