I seriously love my fucking boobs. They are so boobs.
She looked like Sean Connery with cleft lip. So to answer your question, yes I put it in her butt.
you know you should just kill yourself when you are helping your 16 year-old sister get ready for a date and you're going out to dinner with you parents..
Disgusting. If I saw her naked my dick would pack up his balls and leave.
Honestly... isn't she a psych major? how does she go through life NOT realizing that everything she does is a cry for help?
I feel like I've been hit by a truck, flew up and landed on a fence post that went straight through my vagina. No more vodka and sex for a while.
I'm not judging you. Just know that you could be Queen of The World. Instead you're 5:28 p.m ponging. I hope you're at least winning
You said "bag of dicks" before passing out and falling off the landing
Oh god... Please tell me Sarah didn't see me like this
...you may have kinda punched her in the tit on the way down...
My night can be summed up in 3 words: Vodka. Threesomes. Hospital.
the last time I drank tequila I ended up riding your skateboard nude down the street... so yeah, I'll have a few shots.
I don't know what the bubonic plague feels like- but I'm gonna guess its something like this.
I'm saying "I told you so" now so that I don't slow down to say it on the way to grab the fire extinguisher
i have a strong feeling that today will be a naked day for me...i don't feel like doing shit
How many Hail Marys does a girl need to say to get some quality nudes?
Found out that I went to the same elementary school as the guy I'm hooking up with. Kosher or no
Randomize
