do you believe in love at first sight?
awwwwww =)
yea.. so can i have your sisters number? thanks!
i woke up this morning to a slap on the ass and jake saying "you should let me put it in your ass now" i need out of this relationship.
for sure. did you let him do it?
thats not the point.
Didn't tell him I was on my period. Then had to surreptitiously remove some uterine lining from his cock.
the doormen always congratulate him in spanish as he walks me downstairs in the morning
Part of my whole not being a slut anymore involves not giving other peoples boyfriends blowjobs
She just invited me to drunkenly make out on the kitchen floor again.....
Nyquil jello-shots aiding in health and happiness
Woke up to a bottle of gatorade and a packet of saltine crackers tied to underwear hanging from my ceiling fan, along with 3 advil stuck to a piece of duct tape and a note saying "have a happy hangover- <3 you/me"
Drunk you is pretty stunner.
I slept with someone shorter than me. My vagina weeps.
You fool.
Is it socially acceptable to be blind drunk at half five on a Monday afternoon?
Which pub are you in?
God it's like my stomach is full of drunk bees
Why did I not realize how important my fridge was till I was drunk. It keeps all my food cold its like my own cold box
Oh no...did you put star fish over your nipples again?
it's my fake id's birthday. i'm wearing a hat, and i have a beard. i'm untouchable. TO THE BARS!
Let’s be real here. NOTHING says Real Adulting like rolling a J on your line of credit paperwork.
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