wait, did i just see you litter out your window??
umm, i have a hybrid. it cancels out.
Please fuck him. And then let me tell her. And then let me protect you from the knife she pulls from her Ed Hardy purse. Please.
Why is your signature on my underwear?
2nd semester senior, always drunk. at this point if i don't get a good parking spot, i turn around and drive home
It was like good, clean fun, but with bodyshots.
Hey. Can you be so hung over that you get a rash?
Now I know he's not trying to fuck me. He took me to lunch at White Castle.
man my uterus needs to drop the egg or GTFO, BUUUSHIT
I just want you to know when I bang him in the back of my car later I'll have pony by ginuwine on repeat
Text me if something catches fire and I will put pants on
If all that ever happens between us is orgasms and dank memes, I think I'd be okay with that.
I think I must have activated my bat signal.... All three of my FWBs contacted me today!
You took nana to a bar?!
she suggested it
She said my mask was creepy, took it off with her teeth, and proceeded to bite my neck. I love vampires.
I just Spray tanned myself while high as fuck its either going to look like a work of art or terrible graffiti
Randomize
