Riddle me this. What had unbelievable sex, and finally understands the meaning that things come better in pairs?
I hate you
His dick was as big as my arm. Giving him a handjob was like giving someone an Indian sunburn.
some guy just walked by in the street and for 5 seconds yelled "IMM SOOOO HORNYYYYYY!!!!"
At victory brunch. Have a decent story. Im now eskimo brother with the duke mens basketball teams from 2002 to 2008 and obamas right hand man
Sorry I didn't text you for coffee this morning...bad life decision Saturday sorta rolled into Monday...
he ate me out on his front porch at dawn. i orgasmed when the sun began to rise. most romantic morning booty call ever.
He wants me to have his first child. So that makes four gay men that've called dibs on my eggs.
There are a bunch of highly educated, advanced in their field, PUSSY ASS BITCHES in this bar
So your bra was hanging in the Christmas tree last night at some point I think
Tequila Tuesday.. tonight is the night I defeat the liquor.
I have class at 8:30 and I am not bailing you out of the drunk tank again.
I'll have to start mass sending dong pics to get the recognition I deserve
As if I didn't already know that I was in the friend zone, our conversation that included the words "kiddo" and "old friend" really was a knee biter.
When I walked out of the bathroom and you were literally dancing, you looked at me and said 'this is how I dance'. And then continued.
Last time I was blackout at Cowbells I was running around screaming “WHERES THE BLOOOWWWW”
I love when Facebook suggests people I may know. Well, yeah, I know him. He's my drug dealer. Pretty sure I want to keep that relationship strictly professional.
Randomize
