Define "chronic" masturbator.
Dibs on passing out in front of the toilet.
Minivans at bars can only lead to bad things.
i was concerned by what you said you would do for a snickers. It wasn't even a Klondike bar.
I know it sounds like a good idea, but doing Spanish homework at a bar just because the owners are Mexican and they give us margaritas really wasn't the best decision.
I just dont understand why you didnt cut me off when I took the funnel into the bathroom and started peeing and funneling at the same time
It's a sign that no dudes december is about to start: I have a yeast infection.
No more drinking with Em. She was on the ground so much she looked like she belongs in a lifealert commercial
Seriously. All i can say is im covered in mud, my jaw hurts, i cannot straighten my arm, egg is everywhere, and there is a dead squirrel.
i just stole a 8 pack of olde english 40s and 2 roles of duct tape. we are going to make edward proud tonight.
Let's get weird.
It's 10 am...
I'm assuming that means you're not busy...
I'd go lesbian for $50 and a good phone case.
Dude so last night I was eating out my gf and her kitten climbed onto my back and fell asleep. AND SHE DIDN'T NOTICE FOR LIKE 10 MINUTES
Why would you get kicked out?
Well, an overweight man is currently not wearing a shirt. Or pants. And is getting in touch with his inner Chippendale. You can probably fill in the blanks.
You're a brave, albeit stupid soul for wanting in on the fuckery that comes attached to my vagina
Randomize
