im on my way to getting "i just graduated college with no money, no job, and no plan" drunk
I'm convinced her vagina is similar to chernobyl, but I want to visit it for the novelty value anyway.
she thought don quixote was a type of tequila.
When she can manipulate the direction of her leg hair, you know its time to leave
I'm in new territory... I've never had to convince a guy to let me give him head as an apology.
I told her she has a very organized vagina; somehow she took offense.
Just ordered an appetizer sampler to distract the fat chicks so we can escape
I NEED YOU HERE TO KNOCK THE MALT BEVERAGES OUT OF MY MOUTH
Get here, there are important joints to be smoked and pies to be eaten
YOUR DICK HAS BEEN IN ME I DO NOT WANT TO BE SET UP TO MEET YOUR FRIENDS
I mean I love some drunk compliments, but he just wasn't up to my low standards.
i know it looks like there's pee in the mayo jar in the fridge but i promise it's just apple juice that wouldn't fit in the jug after i added the booze.
Of course you try to burn the house down on the one night we take down the smoke alarm so we can use the fog machine more
These freshmen are fun! The redhead wants to practice her blowjob skills with me and let me rate different moves!
So what if is hockey, you don’t turn down sex with a professional athlete. They work out all day and have amazing stamina. Your vagina will thank you!
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