Had a farmer come into my class to talk to us today. He apparently met his wife on fb and just thanked jesus for his land. I think I am in the wrong major...
Sorry you called when I was puking in a cheetos bag
Nothing like buying a handle and a 36 pack with a baby strapped on.
i would have thought, that you two being my best friends, one of you would have atleast tried to catch me before i hit the ground after blacking out.
Every concussion has its silver lining
I may or may not be negotiating a deal of baked goods for socks...keep you posted
That was the apt with beer in the juice and the floor caving in. Don't go.
They were so big her bra clasped in the front. Didn't even know those existed.
Hungover, threw up in a cosmetic case in my car this morning. This is real life.
Great sex, the promise of us mixing our excellent genetics in the future, and access to drugs are mainly what's holding this relationship together at the moment
A guy I hooked up with YEARS ago just endorsed me on LinkedIn for "customer service".
The true debate: do I prioritize going to bed and getting more than six hours of sleep or do I prioritize washing out various grease, leaf bits, and jizz out of my hair
I went to a party last night....I stole all of their ornaments and the toaster oven.
please don't forget about the bread in the toilet i am absolutely not dealing with that
In what world does 'I'm awake' at 2:30 in the morning on a wednesday translate to 'let's fuck' in the span of one text? Where has the romance gone?
Randomize
