I wonder sometimes what your vagina thinks about you.
I've had enough of this chick, she wanted to cuddle after giving me a handjob. I feel like I'm in junior high
I just want you to know that were having pizza delivered to the emergency room
Have $25 to my name but it's $2 pitchers. I have no choice but to go.
My dinner last night was 3000 calories of beer. Slept kneeling on the floor w/ my head on a couch
But you wanna know what the sadest part is? I had to smoke on the way back home cause my mom would be suspicious if I wasn't high after I was supposedly hanging out with you.
I was rolling balls and tried to donate blood as an act of kindness to the sick person who would receive it
The bouncer yelled at him for poking at the guy selling roses, I think it's time to leave.
I really hope jumping jacks prevent pregancy because I'm kind of banking on it right now, do you know why there's a unicycle in the corner of my room?
At least his std test came back clean, gotta look at the positives here
i think im in europe. pls send help
Wasted. And I have 5 pounds of potatoes that I'm responsible for.
Just had a threesome with my best friend and LSAT teacher...just checked three things off my bucket list in one night
Im looking at the faintest of claw marks right now. I just fell in love all over again.
Do you remember seeing anyone put a "my other penis is a vagina" bumper sticker on my car?
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