Time to put an end to this 'unprotected sex with crazy girls who have violent exes' trip I've been on so far this summer
just woke up and this girl had my cellphone nestled in the front of her thong. i kept thinking "is this a trap?"
please keep texting me so i can pretend someone likes me
I wish the iPhone would register texts from 11:59 as "Last Year" instead of "Yesterday."
How fortunate humanity is that it need not rely on the female orgasm for procreation
There was a lot going on. It was easy to miss a 70 foot tall puppet.
It's never too late to be topless.
There is soup leaking out of my nose nothing in life has prepared me for this moment
Me too it's so nice. Debated studying out there but woulda been 90% babe-watching 5% flexing 3% studying and 2% talkin my boners down.
Also, any YOLOwl-related sex photos will result in you winning ten orgasms, courtesy of myself, as well as sweets and bacon-based dinner. All entrants welcome
I'm texting an actual stripper. A male stripper. I dont wanna talk about it yet
One of my interns found me on Grindr. I'm really gonna make him earn the absurd amount of money I pay him.
Erin was right. There were bees at the after hours.
I miss my bedroom and my bed and being able to spray myself with my choice of 15 different perfumes so I don't have to wake up to the smell of my past sins
Nothin much, just sipping warm franzia from a plastic valentines wine glass while wrapped in my Mexican blanket listening to sappy country songs and mourning my lack of a love life. Hbu?
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