DUDE DUDE I JUST GOT TH E BEST IDEA FOR A CHILDRENS BOOK "If You Give A Girl A Blow Job"
does my mom think that having an ed hardy lighter is going to get her laid?
Her underwear doesnt even match. If youre going to be a face book whore at least have matching shit.
I wish i could be on x for the rest of my life.
being able to look good while almost puking is a skill that takes a lot of puking to develop.
Just remembered seeing jalepenos in my vomit last night. Reminded me to thank you for sharing your queso with me. You're a good friend.
you really need to remember next time not to write your name and phone number on the paper its wrapped in.
But what if it got lost?
its illegal. you dont want people to contact you if they find it.
Somehow I got food poisoning AND alcohol poisoning in the same night. Its like everything I love is trying to kill me. I'm waiting for my tv to make its move.
In my defense, who let the drunk girl run around with a sack of broken glass unsupervise?
You answered, dry heaved into the phone twice, & then hung up on me.
I apologize that you just fell victim to my random thought of how to make a blow job come to life via emojis.
You bet your firm but soft ass I miss you
So then I got so stoned I sat and took my pulse for 10 minutes.
I need weed and if he's hot, maybe he can supply me with sex too.
He weighed maybe 130, his dick had to be 30 of it. SO BIIIIG.
Randomize
