Being 21 is my favorite hobby I'm really good at it
the only time it's appropriate to sing In The Air Tonight by Phils Collins is while sake bombing at Cal Beach
um or while having sex on a train
Excuse me by sucking dick i am fighting crime. Just think of all the prostitues going out of business and getting real jobs.
He gave me a promise ring. He promised that he will imagine me as every girl he fucks in college.
Where are you and who are these girls passed out on the floor?
and why are they spooning a flamingo?
they traded weed for a spot on our floor. be nice.
I'm not entirely sure what we did is legal in the U.S., but I know that couple wont be the same
Challenge: Try to have your balls hanging out in every picture you take tonight
Challenge Accepted
How do we turn this unicorn pinata into a bong?
Your grammar in that last text message was so awful.. My vagina wants to go crawl in a hole, and never speak to you again.
Just accidentally flashed my junk to the lady helping me try on suits, it was cold in there, I don't think she was impressed.
He made the moves first, we made out...then we folded his laundry.
I made it to work. Still drunk. Definitely pregnant.
He sent me a dick pic for every page I had to write for final papers (87) & brought me adderall. Tell me that isn't romance.
i just found a lighter in my bra... from last night, and its 7:43pm...
It was only a blow job in his car. It's the same as giving a friend a back rub.
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