it hurts more in the daytime
Dear everyone. As mark stated i did the 'piss n run' last night. This is all new to me and it scares me. Again, sorry. "if i could turn back time" -cher
last night this guy was hitting on me by showing me the famous people he had in his contacts on his cell... when he asked me if i knew lindsay lohan, i said "whose that? sounds asian"
You probably havent been upstairs if you think that the microwave missing its door is bad
he seriously made his penis a facebook.
We had on the same team jersey so at the time it made sense to hook up.
Duh.
BUT I think maybe Thursday in celebration of America we should probably tan and see how fast we can finish everything in the liquor cabinet.
He would come to class in wrapped in nothing but a pink towel
Shroomed with my best friend'a dad at his wife's surprise birthday party so you can say I have experience in the field
How do I tell my hairdresser I want a hair style I saw in a porn video?
I gave him a BJ and he left. Coincidentally that's the name of my memoir.
You kept insisting you found queso that's better than oral sex
I was stretching naked in the middle of my room singing "Somewhere Over the Rainbow", apparently this is what I do when I'm high and the wifi goes out
KY in my mouth and throat does not a party make.
Dude!! Who the fuck glued Cheetos to my couch? Bastards!!
Randomize
