I'm still drunk from last night...I walked out for a cigarette with one of the Janitors here and apparently someone took a shit on the stairs...Which makes me wonder...was that me?
you're just mad because in the hogwarts world I'm Harry and you're Ron. get over it.
Just talked to the girl you brought home from the bar last night while she was looking for her panties. She said to tell you "nice try".
hungover + watching bobsledding = i just puked
so i had sex last night with my 12th partner, but hes number 1 for my first time using a condom. i think im finally learning.
i talked to you about this last night, and you kept saying "he wants yo pusssaayyyyyy"
i dont know what was worse.. snorting the wasabi or puking on the neighbors dog
Excuse me but the alley way I wanted to fuck in happens to be a very nice clean area.
Tonight was the second time that I've pretended like English was my 2nd language to avoid conversation w a creeper.
You know this who 'I show my love by being a total dick' thing is getting old, right?
I have a new favorite bar game. It's called, get dressed up and go drinking alone then make up random stories of why you are alone to look less like an alc
Please tell me that SOMEONE, SOMEWHERE, has created a drink called a 'Tequila Mockingbird'. PLEASE.
You were a cyclone of alcohol and bad decisions - like a gay Tazmanian devil
rock bottom is drinking straight vodka from a protein shaker, singing one direction and crying alone in your room. exams.
No, I barely made it home last nite. Kept telling cab driver I live across the street from Susan Sarandon?? Thank god her coop addy is posted online.
Randomize
