Being hungover naked and coloring my hair. I guess I am not naked I have black latex gloves on. Give me a call.
im coming over.
just saw an old couple make out...not too sure how I feel about it. though I will admit at one point I was thinking "oh yeah! get that!"
just threw up on my speech test, so much for a great semester
Sharon took in a random bleeding stranger drunker than her, named her Nicole, and is feeding her jello shots on the toilet
The first thing they saw when they walked in was all four of our std test's hangin on the fridge....i'd be worried if they didn't think we were sluts
Taking back a box of condoms is possibly the most depressing thing i've ever done
figured you should hear this from me. Your refrigerator door is way broken. I opened it last night when i was drunk and tried to climb the shelves. i got to the one with the mustard.
truck drivers should not leave their trucks unlocked with cigarettes inside when we're drunk and walking around.
So hungover. Have a black eye from where I tried to brush my teeth and stabbed myself in the eye instead. Should make the performance review I was stress drinking about go so much better.
My cousin was arrested on a class b felony for selling meth out of the back door of McDonald's where he worked. Apparently it was the extra special sauce.
It was a career choice to be sure... Mistakes were made.
Would I do it again? Probably not but still,I don't regret a single ratchet thing I've done in college.
HE WAS CUMMING IN THAT DICK PIC
He bought me pizza and bourbon and played scrabble with me. So naturally I slept with him.
She’s fine. Found her in the bathtub eating Cheerios and watching Rugrats on an iPad.
Liz Cheney wasn’t exactly on my list of women I expected to be saying “YAS QUEEN” for in 2021 but here we are
Randomize
