i'm sorry if your life is a sore subject
I just showed my boobs to our astate representative hahahahahahha
Everytime I walk into a bathroom at school that I've taken a pregnancy test in I get a little bit nostalgic....
He kept his baseball cap on when he went down on me...
Whoever I saved in my phone as "Jackpot" last night has your keys.
The car just stinks of weed and we are all sitting here trying to hide it from my mom by rolling down the windows, like it's not coming off my sisters boyfriend
Every part of me is in agreement...but mostly my vagina
How was the party last night?
I'm dangerously close to shitting myself.
I like how our relationship transcends the borders of inappropriateness and encompasses all the colors of the inappropriate rainbow.
Uhmm, it's called hentai.
I DON'T CARE WHAT IT'S CALLED I DON'T WANT TO SEE IT ON MY WORK COMPUTER
According to the arrest report, I shouted "no, YOU put some pants on" at the cop. Downhill from there.
I'm the kind of gay who carries his anxiety medication in case the club scene gets too fierce
Why is there a horse in the backyard?
I stayed at my gfs last night. This is all on you.
The guy in the room next to me just offered to hide the next dose of morphine he will get for his broken leg under his tongue and then swap it with me in exchange for a roll of the good toilet paper my parent brought for me last they visited. The psych ward is a lot more hardcore than I thought.
How was your day?
Peaceful. I left the house to get paid and get fried chicken.
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