Goddamnit I hate your level headedness
I need to go to a fraternity... my boobs are telling me to.
I saw that some person on TFLN used a bag of wine as a pillow. I tried it last night. I forgot to close the spout. I woke up and thought my face had a period
No, you can still breathe under the balls.
If I had a nickel for every time my parents threatened to stop paying tuition I would be a very rich man. Rich enough to pay my own tuition.
the way i see it, im about one adderall binge away from graduating
You do realize that we bought beer at 9:30 in the morning to avoid sobering up. Stupidity was bound to follow.
The higher i get, the less gay he looks, and the more i want to make out with him. This is dangerous.
you set the microwave for an hour telling me that the done sound was your alarm.
If I should ask "why am I still single?" could someone please remind me of shooting mike and ikes out of my nose at the bartender last Saturday. many thanks
I sold weed for gas money to get home. I thought that's what college was for.
Traveling before 21 and traveling after 21 are two different things. There's a whole nother world of red white and blue weird out there
That point of drunk where you're in a bar bathroom and you're like "F*ck you bra! I'm not taking your sh*t anymore! and you take it off and throw it in a trashcan.
When you get up and look at yourself in the mirror, don't be alarmed. The doctor assured us last night that it looked way worse than it actually was and there won't be a scar when the stitches come out
I like making it seem like it's at least a little bit difficult to hook up with me
Randomize
