so we had a 20 minute conversation and created the fb page WWND (what would Nana do?) last night after we took our Ambien...that is my definition of an overachiever
Dude, I found another chunk missing out of my tooth. Fuck drinking on tuesdays.
on the brightside, the semester can only get better from getting a dui at 8 am on the first day.
your optimism is becoming unhealthy
Hey do you want me to wrap up that Jack in the Box you left in my gutter
I wish Samuel L. Jackson would narrate our bar crawls
I need a Xanax. A Veggie Delight. And exhibition style sex.
Look if you're not going to be mine and take care of my needs, I'm going to fuck your sisters.
I'm on my fifth cocktail in twenty minutes. I don't think I will end this on two legs.
I refuse to apologize. Any dick that comes that close to my face uninvited is gonna get bit
His search history includes homemade sex toys and a plunger. I'm scared about what goes on in their place.
Forced to cancel my booty call due to the snowpocalypse. This crosses the line.
So far I've taken two naps, went out and bought a pizza called the Hipster, and in 15 min I'm gonna make a snow angel. Conquering Snowlandia. How bout you?
DIBS ON THE NEW GUY.
NO. NO FUCKING YOUR COWORKERS
Everything is covered in gelatin and pam cooking spray. Jesus be a shield.
He gave me an extra phone charger for the other side of the bed the other night. Is that love?
Randomize
