HOLD UP I think she only has eight fingers...
once the tequila comes in everyone elses feelings go out the window.
adderall flavored popcorn. yes we did it and its awesome
she pinky promised me she was 18
I mean I drunk but not enough to handle a Scientology convention
she just blew up the empty bag of wine and used it as a floatation device.
I put the condom across her upper lip. It was like a mustache of a job well done.
Last thing I remember was wondering why there was a mirror on the wall behind the urinal and then realizing I was pissing in the sink.
I just got a call from the front desk apparently one of my feiends was dropped off by a handicap bus passed out in a wheel chair unlv is goig down
GET ME OUT OF HERE THE DOCTOR KNOWS HE IS JUDGING ME I DEMAND A PRISON BREAK
I just heard your voicemail. Glad you like my dick and think I'm cool
can you tell me why i woke up in a diaper and combat boots?
Just as an add on, don't expect me to wear matching bra and underwear. If I do, I'm probably drunk and it's your fucking birthday. Have a great night.
Let's just grow old together and be the crazy ladies that sit on the park bench, drinking booze from flasks and loudly talk about people who walk by.
I banged a marine last night. No wonder everybody respects them.
Randomize
