Did you see that girl I got with last night?
Girl? Oh...weird...to be honest Ive always thought you were gay..
Its like we are women, and boise state is a gangster rap song. This game is degrading
So you know how craigslist used to have an "erotica" section? And how after you click on a link it changes a darker color? And how Dad stays up really late most nights?
Oh god... well at least he's gettin some. Mom's a prude.
I can't wait until next week, when I find out what drunk me added to the Netflix queue.
i licked the inside of a toilet bowl for $14. i really can't talk about my night.
It took 5 minutes to find my bra.. in his car.
Dont worry about the blood on the pillow. its from my face.
I didn't plan on sleeping with him until he told me his mom is deaf.. Then I felt bad.
Evvvvvveryone knows we hooked up in the DJ booth. People call it the BJ booth now. I've created a legacy
Henceforth: booty calls will now be referred to as "deliveries of anatomy". That is all.
I just shit my bed. Go ahead and make your 40 year old incontinence jokes now.
When you accidentally text the wrong guy for a dick pic and your surprised you get one In return. He just got on my "to do" list
WHY DOES MY BOYFRIEND'S BROTHER HAVE TO BE SO FUCKING HOT
I think I gotta smoke less weed, I'm getting to lazy to fuck my girlfriend
My co-worker accidentally texted me regarding the threesome him and other one are planning.
Randomize
