I asked him if he wanted to go to my place, he said i could go but he was gonna stay
if you don't open the door right now liz is going to get pregnant
you lied. pity sex is amazing.
He tried to say "god bless your heart" to the stripper but it came out "god bless your pussy"
Some drunk couple just made out on the sidewalk and it reminded me some sweet moments we have shared...
omg dinner turned into a foam party this is weiriiid
yeah its nbd she just bit me in the face. be there soon
First memory of my senior year: Going into registration still drunk from last night.
I like to get drunk just like anyone else but not to the point of sticking a rubber tube up my asshole
Handcuffs are allowed in carry on luggage :) just checked
I'm making a quesadilla and including it in the picture because that's the only way I think I can send her dick pics.
It's Breast Cancer Awareness Month!!!! What random hook up should check my tata's this year?!?!
What did the sign say that bob stapled to his ass?
They are like untrained puppies reaking havoc on a newly furnished house. Out of control.
You just compared our vaginas to a newly furnished house...I can dig it.
No, it's okay that he's on a date. I attach no more emotion to him than I do my vibrator.
Randomize
