There's a technique?! I just slide my tongue around
taking a shot every time they compare curling to a real sport
we just did breakfast shots, I have a black eye and savage garden is on . Best weekend ever
some dude is stoned out of his mind in my calc class. just shouted that the teacher was a genius cause he got rid of so many numbers
Hey are you going to the pride parade? If so get me a shit ton of condoms
I smell like hot dogs and captain morgan it's 11:20 am what is my life
I'm so stoned I just sat here for like at least 45 min thinking about how I would get some jack in the box tacos if only I knew where my wallet was and then I kind of blinked and finally noticed I had literally been staring at my wallet the ENTIRE fucking time
I have to estimate how long it takes them to get to the bedroom so that I can sneak out of my room and get snacks. If she's anything like me, they're in bed the second he gets here and I can get snacks now
I just want to sing to him and rub baby oil on his head
Come here I'm naked
And I want mozzarella sticks
He says it takes a lot to subdue the urge to just bury his face in my vagina. Of course, I have absolutely no problem with this.
DO NOT LET HIM TAKE CONTROL OVER YOUR BOWELS
Hahaha. I'm so high, this is gonna be so intense. Even the DVD menu scared the shit out of me.
He made a group chat with him, his wife, & I. Is this really life!??
Flirting with/getting ready to possibly sleep with a married HS classmate and getting added to a bible study group chat within minutes of each other. #Balance
Randomize
