If its called oral, why is it so hard to talk?
I Just realized that having a picture folder that says "not for mom" may give off the wrong impression to wondering eyes
You say "I'm in class" like it matters... I'm getting a little tired of having to smoke by myself at 4:20 because you're in class.
I just used 'come play with my balls' as a legitimate booty call attempt. And it worked.
As long as he sees me topless I don't care. Redemption. REEEDDDEMMMPPPTTIIIOOONNNNN
We're in ER. He's high on morphine and I'm drunk. Gonna score some bed pans for jello shots.
Dan marino should def buy this ambulance. But not this one. I'm gonna fuck this ambulance up
Sitting in airport bathroom. Guy walks into toilet next to me and announces "I want to apologize to the entire airport for what I'm about to do"
Me and him were fist fighting in the back of the cab and I offered the driver a 100% tip to call him an asshole. I don't know why.
How do i politely tell him his dick looks like it went thru a meat grinder?
You are one with the wind and sky, bro.
It was the cape. I can't control myself when I wear a cape.
Fucked him in a graveyard. Need plan b.
My dad is sitting where you rode me
You’d probably be happy to know that I think I’ve mastered the skill of knowing “my type” and then steering clear
FINALLY. I THOUGHT THIS DAY WOULD NEVER COME!
Randomize
