I'm at the bar and I just saw some unnecessary and accidental cooter...sometimes I think girls need a license to go out pantyless in public.
girl in front of me at starbucks just ordered 7 shots of espresso in her latte. welcome to finals week
Outside the community dumpsters: beer bottles and a carton of orange juice. Looks like we were here.
recycled a plan b box. kill a baby. save a tree.
All i remember is people cheering me on to drink faster than the dog, out of the dog's bowl. I just couldn't stop.
Life lesson today, a six foot hot guy I meet at a party CANNOT fit on my bike with me.
Throwing up so forcefully that toilet water hits you in the face is not what the Pilgrims and Indians had in mind for this holiday
I fully committed to my astronaut costume, to say the least. blacking out on moonshine and having a moonwalk of shame this morning: happy Halloweekend.
The awkward moment when a lady ask you what kind of lipliner you're using, but really I have just finished eating hot cheetos.
You'd think it'd be fun living next door to a guy whose neck you once licked. Surprise, it's not.
You mom sent me some article linking anal sex, damaged prostates and sterility. Does she still think your gonna go straight and have kids one day?
on a campus of 30,000 people, i should not be able to see every single guy I've ever hooked up with at one party.
a reward? ill think of something
if its not drugs or food I swear to god ill throw a fit
No I come to this class stoned every week. Except last week when I was drinking in class
Could’ve gone my whole life not seeing a man snort coke off another man’s cock... but there it is...
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