The guy next to me is watching porn. EVERYTIME I COME TO THE LIBRARY SOME RANDOM GUY NEXT TO ME LOOKS AT PORN.
I don't know how to tell my mom that I'm not sober enough to drive to the dentist...
my love horoscope just told me to "say it in frosting" should i take this literally?? i think yes.
I think I just need to sleep with both of them to see which I want to date.
You just went from promiscuous to slut in 3.2 seconds.
I had a party to get rid of booze. Woke up with even more. Will do this till I can open a liquor store
In debating whether or not it's worth getting out of bed and walking 5 feet down the hallway to go to the bathroom before I puke
Ok. Cause im very serious about this. I wanna strip and do coke for a month
I tried to tell her I've only slept with 3 other people...she then named off 5 of her sorority sisters I fucked and asked me if she should continue
When did our fuck buddy relationship, turn into me babysitting his dog?
I just learned a new drink. Sloppy Ninja. Half Saki Half Nyquil
Long story short he broke into a preschool and threw all their cones into a tree.
we def had a heart to heart that turned into a BJ last night
She offered to treat me to breakfast after a one night stand if I meet her parents and sex again if I act as her bf. It may be a trap but its a offer I won't refuse.
I'm taking ecstasy it's gonna be that kind of Vegas trip
I haven’t been this excited since I found out they sold cases of Jack Daniels.
Randomize
