oh jesus shes a lukewarm mess
I feel like your standards for women is like rent-a-centers standards for credit.
He came on my face and told me I looked like a gingerbread house.
Just did free shots of tequila at a walmart. Hello Mexico
I took a picture of his ID so i could remember how to spell his last name and facebook stalk him later...I think he saw me do it
I answered the my mom's phone call about what we're doing for father's day while he was still fucking me. She thought I seemed really excited about his hiking boots present.
He came over while I was in the ER and hung pictures of himself around my house.
There was a cop outside the house so we just put the alcohol in this watermelon
I had to talk to the cops at my front door in a bathrobe, with the buttplug still in.
You told her that she shouldn't be allowed to wear clothes then when her roommate asked if you like her you said "no I just want to insert things into her"
I stand by it.
I just don't fit in here. The other wives are ten years older and have kids!
Well, you chose trophy wife of a 35 year old over college. Sit in your suburban soup and stew.
I woke up to see that I had ripped my boxers into a loin cloth because we were watching last of the mohicans
i'm not drunk or reckless enough to have you track my every fucking move. I AM AN ADULT
When we were having sex last night, I told him I would replace him with tacos
I told you about the baby at the graduation party that looked into my eyes and knew I was empty inside
Randomize
